A Baby's Baby

My niece just had a baby. How strange it is to say it. Or read it. Or type it.

The two of us are just three years apart, so I still see her as my little playmate who was always a key player in our family picture, whether we were celebrating New Year's by dressing up in my mom's fancy dresses or playing with dolls for hours on end.

And that makes my sister a grandmother. Again, looks weird to my eye, but life slides us into these new roles as easily as we slip on a sweater on a cool, spring day. One minute my big sis is taking me to the park to play with her daughter and the next time I look up, she's holding her daughter's baby.

And where does that leave my mom? As a great-grandmother, the strangest of all titles for this terminally energetic, youthful and sharp-witted woman. I still – and always will – see the same woman I remember from my gradeschool days – hair nicely coiffed, bright-red fingernails, dressed impeccably for her trim frame. To this day I have more gray hair than she does, a curse she no doubt bestowed upon me for the trouble I gave her as a teenager.

Her vanity is endearing – her three grandchildren were forbidden to call her "Grandma," a title she equated with little old ladies clustered in knitting circles. To my niece, she was always "Mom." To my two kids, she's "Ema."

I can't wait to see what baby Madison will call her.

The Mother Ship

What makes us human? Those useful thumbs? The ability to tell jokes? A love of cheese (even the ones that don't smell very good)? Our species' unhealthy fascination with Charlie Sheen?

If you ask the billions of women on the planet, they'd probably say that while a good camembert is important, our ability to care for and our deep love we have for our offspring marks a very clear definition between us and our hairy, feathery and scaly counterparts.

Yes, I've openly wept while watching the mama elephant help her little baby over the fallen tree in that Pampers commercial. And how can you not be fascinated by the heroic parenting in March of the Penguins?

But here's what sets up apart: Not too long ago I was complaining of having the sniffles. My mom called me the next day at work, to make sure I wasn't coming down with something. Let's just say I'm well past the age when she'd have to rush me to Urgent Care for a high fever or bring me a Popsicle to ease my sore throat.

Even if your child's away at college or old enough to be a grandmother herself, a mom never stops parenting, which, at least in my experience with the animal kingdom, sets us apart from the armadillos and sperm whales.

But a mom's talent for getting her children to pick up their clothes and empty the dishwasher is what impresses beings from other planets – at least if you are to believe the premise in Mars Needs Moms, the new Disney flick that hits theaters today.

I wasn't really sure what to expect from this one. Produced by Robert Zemeckis in that hyper-real, motion capture style of The Polar Express, this movie sends an arrow right to the heart of our species and possibly those watching from other galaxies: Good moms make for a happy planet.

Based on the book by Berkeley Breathed, the plot is beyond the scope of reality on many levels. But viewers seemed to walk away with a new appreciation for Mom, knowing most of our mommies would gladly hand off the oxygen helmet to save her child. Heck, that's why the airlines have to tell us to put our mask on first – without that reminder, we simply wouldn't do it.

So moms, check this movie out. I was surprised by its tug at my maternal heartstrings. It's a pretty intense sci-fi flick for little ones - fairly short on comedy and heavy on the action and suspense. And you might not necessarily buy all its premises.

But after the credits roll, chances are you'll want to phone home.

Check out the trailer here.

The Grammys: One Mom's High Note

Today's guest blogger is Deborah Poppink, an L.A. mom who attended the Grammys this week with her record executive husband. Deborah is known for her fresh, funny and free-spirited music for kids and is an award-winning songwriter, performer and music teacher.  Check out her original and educational videos for families on YouTube. She also writes the The DidiPop Times: A Creative Parenting Newsletter (www.didipop.com). She lives in Mar Vista with her husband, two daughters and cat Booki.

L.A. mom and musician Deborah Poppink settled into her seat at the Grammys next to husband David.

Having always dreamed of attending the Grammys (as a performing nominee!), I finally made it last night. It was an exciting weekend here in L.A., beginning with the kids' music Grammy nominee concert at The Mint, where Justin Roberts and Judy Pancoast were among the performers. Pete Seeger and Julie Andrews did not make it (and I am lucky to have seen Pete recently at Jazzfest in New Orleans, but I digress).

Sunday morning I put on a DidiPop show for kids at our local farmers' market, ran home, took off my pink-sequined skirt, threw on my new over-the-knee leather boots (thanks Zappos), a double coat of mascara and dashed out the door to the Grammy party hosted by my music publisher, Bug Music.

Kara DioGuardi looked dramatic in her black dress as she gave Bug's "Hitmaker" award to Ari Levine (he's cranking out the hits with Bruno Mars, and I was fortunate enough to work with Ari on my X-Files song, "Ooh La La"). Los Lobos was honored, and martinis and doughnut holes were flowing. Weird combination, right?

"We've got go. Now!" said my husband, quite seriously. He's the president of Bug and negotiated me through my first Grammys. If you are not in your seat before the going-on-air countdown, they won't let you in. So there  we were, scuttling across the street, my leather jacket pockets filled with Cliff Bars and a water bottle stashed in the back of my pants (at the belt line) and under my new Kenneth Cole strappy top. I'd been warned by seasoned Grammy-goers, to sneak in food and water as the show lasts forever and ushers don't let you out of your seats much. And by the way, we WERE allowed to get up, but I was happy I didn't have to spend $45 on a couple bottles of water and a Kit-Kat bar.

Deborah Poppink enjoyed the Grammy pre-party scene.

I squeezed into my seat between my husband and a music publisher from Toronto (just met him last night, nice guy!), and the show started. The five powerhouse women sang the Aretha Franklin medley, Christina looking kind of plump and luscious (and falling as she took in the applause). Lady Gaga apparently got out of an egg, but from our seats, it looked more like a Cinderella coach. My favorite part was when she played the organ. What a hard-working artist she is. And during her song I turned to the music publishers on either side of me (my husband and my new friend from Toronto), and said two words: "Express Yourself".

My favorite part of Bruno Mars' "set" was when he played drums. As an artist, I love to see true artists like Gaga and Bruno. Ones who WORK: practicing, rehearsing, writing and studying, because that's truly what it takes. (Sometimes I think people get caught up in the clothes, make-up and current body weight, without really acknowledging how much work goes in). Mick Jagger was mesmerizing and filled Staples Center with almost a church-like magnificence. What an energy that man has.

But in the middle part of the show, the whole glitzy Grammys became more like a family and kids' music show. When Jada Pinkett Smith and hubby Will stood up and proudly applauded their little rapper, Jaden, it felt as though I was at our school auditorium and they were just another couple of proud parents. And really, isn't that  what they are? I also saw Cyndi Lauper just below me, seemingly annoyed at her teenage son for doing something. Mothering never stops, even at the Grammys.

When Cee-lo and Gwyneth Paltrow came on with the Muppets, the night, in my perception, became more like a night of kids' music for adults. And maybe that what POP music really is. Rihanna in her yellowish princess dress, Katy Perry in the pink Little Bo Peep outfit, pretty on a swing showing her own wedding photos on her magnificent wing-like train, and Cee-lo in his multicolored chicken get-up ... how uplifting and free-spirited it all was!

(My theory on Gwyneth: She is one of the most gifted actresses of our time. Maybe she's been auditioning all these roles in her movies, just to try out what she REALLY wants to be in life. She marries Chris Martin from Coldplay and watches him do his thing for a while. Then she says, "Wow! I wanna be a ROCK STAR!" and of course she can. She was electrifying.)

Then Barbra Streisand came on. I am a huge fan and was excited to see what she would do. She looked more like a woman than a superstar, settled and calm. She choose one of the hardest songs I've ever sung ("Evergreen"), and that was interesting, because she just can't get the notes like she used to. And she knows it, but still she went for it, which was brave and real. I appreciate her courage, her talent and her hard work.

We all thought Justin Bieber would win as he is such a teen phenomenon, yet he lost to Esperanza Spalding, the talented jazz bassist/vocalist/producer/composer from Portland. I just listened to her CD, and it's pretty remarkable. The other unexpected win went to Arcade Fire. They are dynamic group of multi-instrumentalists that includes two drummers, two women musicians, and a husband and wife team that play cool instruments like glockenspiels and French horns. I believe that Arcade Fire's CD was the only "concept album" of the five nominated for Best Album. And that, along with their incredible musicianship, could be why they took it. These days artists tend to record a bunch of singles and then compile them onto a CD, whereas in the old days, artists would think it out and create 40 minutes of story/vibe/concept.

All in all, the day (performing for kids and families with my new band), the day (at the party, reconnecting with musicians I haven't hung with since I've been breeding), and the night (the legendary Grammys, complete with real legends) was one of the best days of my life. I know that's quite a statement, but sharing all this music with my daughters (4 and 6) at my show, and my wonderful husband all day long (we just celebrated our seven-year anniversary), made me look up to the sky (after parking my minivan in our driveway) and thank god out loud.

Just then a song came into my head, a wonderful song from the Sound of Music with the lyric: "Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good." What a lucky mom/wife/musician I am. And how important music is for all us, to inspire us and bring us (children, adults and families) together to feel and thrive in its magic. And just like raising kids, making music takes a lot of work, dedication and love.

Find Deborah Poppink Hirshland at www.DidiPop.com, www.YouTube.com/DidiPopMusic, www.Facebook.com/DidiPopMusic and on Twitter @DidiPop.

Listen To Your Heart

I'd like to say my heart skips a beat because of all the excitement in my life. But in fact, I think I have a case of forty-something-hormony-stressy-possibly genetically induced heart palpitations.

Why do you have to know this? Because it's American Heart Month, or so says the American Heart Association, and I am eternally shocked out of my seat every time I hear that heart disease is the number one killer of women in this country.

The American Heart Association has made good use of this month of love and flowers to remind us that we need to keep our hearts on our minds. Part of the reason is that if it's not palpitating or acting erratically (as mine has been doing lately), we don't think about that muscle much. It's just there, pumping away at delivering blood to all of our important body parts.

In my case, I started having these thumpings more frequently after my 40th birthday. And since it's American Heart Month, I thought I'd do my heart a service and have it checked out.

I'm still waiting on the final results from my doctor, so I've already worked myself through every outcome, from merely just needing to up my water intake to going in for a complete heart transplant. But having this weird reminder that my heart is working hard for me has prompted some important lifestyle changes. More often than not, I request my chicken grilled rather than fried and have been skipping dessert when my will is strong. I try not to sweat the small stuff. I've been running around a bit more with the kids, tossing the football and getting on bikes. I even dialed down to decaf tea in the afternoon.

Use this Hallmark-happy month as an excuse to focus on your own heart – and all that it does for you. And more importantly, take a minute to listen to your heart. Then take the stairs and do other stuff that makes your heart happy. Sing a lullaby to your kids (unless they're 14 and might throw you out of their room). Read a poem (the internet can help you with this). Play with a puppy. Stare at the moon.

As my husband told me the other day, "I like that heart. Take care of it." It wasn't quite Valentine's Day yet, but that sure made my heart skip a beat.

Having the Resolve

I'm a Capricorn (a New Year's Day one, in fact), so it will come as no surprise that I like lists. They're not only great for groceries and party planning, they work perfectly on blogs. However, I hate New Year's Resolutions. And those cheesy retrospectives that the local news stations and other insidious sources put us through.

But for parents, sometimes it's good to take stock of the year you've just survived in a retrospective list. We need to calculate our accomplishments as moms and dads, and neatly file those little snapshots of your life in a mental scrapbook. That way, when you're exhausted from some parental exercise and wondering aloud, "Why am I doing this?" those little retrospectives serve to remind you why you do all those things.

Here's a look back on a few parenting milestones for 2010, tossed in with some resolutions, all sewn up in a handy list!

1) Get in the game. We stuffed ourselves with Dodger Dogs and left promptly after the Seventh Inning Stretch. But hey, we made it – and we even found our car again. The Resolution: Make memories. A Broadway musical, even though I don't like musicals. The beach, even if it means spending the next day vacuuming sand out of the car. A Dodger game, even whey the team is not doing that great, is something the kids will remember way into adulthood.

2) Remember the love. This last year, 6-year-old Jack fell hard for all things Star Wars, thus trading his Thomas the Tank trains for his TIE Fighter and beloved Clone Wars jammies. Out with the old; in with the new. The Resolution: Keep a good scrapbook, write down the funny things the kids say, hug the stuffing out of them as often as I can, even when they're bugging me.

3) Get the picture. Kate, at age 10, can now appreciate the subtleties of art, understand the struggles of artists, grasp their vision and their plan. She can learn and visualize and emulate and empathize and soak up the paint and the pain. Jack spent his time at the Norton Simon Museum in Pasadena obsessed with the electronic gadget that spews forth the guided tour – and the museum offers one that's recorded just for kids. Kate chose the more "adult" versions of the interpretations and hung on every word. The art is knowing that they're both taking away what they like, and to get out of the way of that. The Resolution: Guide them to soak up as much culture as they can squeeze into their little brains. Then, get the heck out of their way and let the glue and paint and sparkles spill.

4) Ditch the list. The irony is not wasted here, believe me. But I do tend to schedule tightly, attempt to keep things in order, follow a regimen and keep to a schedule. So when the kids plead, "Mom, can we sleep outside tonight?" I invariably scrunch up my face in a That Is Not The Plan grimace. But they love it, especially when they wake up in the morning and can hang in their tent, sharing Pop Tarts with the dog. The Resolution: Be more spontaneous, and let the kids do more nutty kid stuff.

5) Stop and smell the flowers. As an adult, it's easy to forget how wondrous the world is. But as we're zooming along from one place to the next, Jack will stop me dead in our tracks to stare at a crack in the sidewalk. Kate will pick up a pretty rock, make a dress for it and build a special home for it to "sleep" next to her on the pillow. The two of them will run INTO the rain instead of recoiling as though acid is being dropped on them, as most of us adults do. The Resolution: Remember to see the world through a child's eyes. Be a little less jaded, Carolyn. The world's a pretty cool place.

Now, onto to the next item on the list.