Just Say 'No' to Pot(lucks)

I know it's too late for this year's midterm elections, but I am hoping I can just slightly alter one of today's proposed amendments: Instead of legalizing certain substances, I propose this instead: Let's make pot(lucks) illegal.

I'll rally local politicians and activate citizens after this year's holiday season, when this insidious issue is fresh on the minds of everyone who's had to combine cold pizza with a green bean salad. Sure, I won't want to spend $140 million of my own fortune, but I feel as though this problem, which strikes deep into our schools and homes, can finally be brought out into the daylight where we can make mincemeat out of it (and that's something you should NEVER bring to a potluck).

I understand how they happen. A friend decides to host a spur-of-the-moment party and doesn't have time to run to Gelsons for the fabulous deli tray. One mom on the fringe is trying to single-handedly put together a gathering to celebrate the many cultures that make up the kindergarten kids and their parents. But Korean kimchi just isn't going to mix very well with that bucket of KFC that I hastily had to resort to after working late the previous evening and scrambling just to get myself to the gathering – thus, not very accurately representing my "culture" (really!).

Don't get me wrong. I love all food from all cultures (even Kentucky). I believe my children should experience and come to appreciate such delicacies as oxtail soup, squid stir fry and curries of every color. But all in the same meal?

Aside from the mishmash of culinary styles that are forced to come together on one plate, how about the utter assault on the concept of a well-planned and prepared meal wherein the appetizer whets your appetite for the salad, which provides a perfect precursor to the main dish? Or gosh, I'd just settle for, "Hey, this stuff kind of goes together OK and isn't going to make my stomach stage a revolt."

And I've bought the bill of goods that goes with these potlucks: "It's cheaper," "more convenient" and – yes, "easy." I don't have all the answers, and the solutions are complicated and can be expensive. When the host doesn't have the time, then what? Caterer? Food truck? A big pizza parlor bill? And even I'll admit that good things can come from potlucks. In fact, my children's elementary school threw a potluck that was so massive that I could've put together a menu of several different complementary dishes from 13 countries – and some of the dishes were phenomenal.

And maybe I'm just bitter about the fact that if I sacrifice my "free" time to prepare a dish or a meal, then I want to be able to serve it to an appreciative crowd – not just for the accolades but for the spirit of sharing food and getting to know people, which is what eating together is supposed to be all about.

So please, everyone, until I can get this on next year's ballot, just remember: Say "no" to potlucks.

Comments

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[Marcela]

I hate potlucks because I seriously can't stop eating ( :

So, yes, agree, I will "say no to potlucks". ( :