Clawed Logic

Musical theater is not my first love. In truth, it's not even on my top 10. The words that have to be sung instead of just spoken, the over-dramatic dance gestures, the gratuitously glittery costumes ... it's all wasted on my unsophisticated-West Coast-let's-just-go-to-the-movies-centric hapless brain.

So why did I attend last night's premiere of CATS, arguably one of the most argued about Broadway imports to land (on its feet, of course) at the Pantages on Hollywood Boulevard? Three reasons:

1. I feel that exposure to these things might help me beef up the "love" part of the love/hate relationship I have with musicals. It's my version of immersion therapy.


2. Attending these performances is part of my cultural education. At the next cocktail party, I want to make sure I can comment on the obvious comparisons between feline ethos and our own humble and decidedly less refined human existence.


3. Kate LOVES musical theater.

I've written about Kate's adoration of the theater before (see my previous post on Riverdance), and I feel very strongly about the fact that I need to ensure that she is as familiar with T.S. Eliot's role in CATS as she is with Zack Efron's associations with basketball. While she embraces the "boards," I am equally motivated to deliver her to an L.A. Sparks game or a Ziggy Marley concert.

And as her escort in the manner of these affairs, I'm not always going to be the rabid (sorry, "cats") fan of them that she is (and vice-versa, of course). To wit, at last night's performance, her uncouth mother could not understand that despite our third-row view of CATS in all their feline finery, she needed a booster seat for a better view.

Me: Kate, what are you doing? We're almost the same size, and I can see each whisker on those cats' faces.

Kate: But I can't see their feet. That's the important part.

Oh. Yeah. OK.

So as we add Broadway musicals to the cultural dance card, I've had to, shall we say, devise some survival strategies. Perhaps if you have a similar dynamic in your home, you might find these tips helpful. Here goes:

• About every 15-20 minutes, look over at the unadulterated joy on your child's face. All the "Why are the lyrics so strange?" and "Is that cat going to heaven?" questions (from me) just melt away.
  
  That's MY favorite kitty in the center. Photo credit: © 2008, G CREATIVE


• Make it a bonding experience. Kate and I rode the Metro Red Line, giving us time to chat about her school life. She even confessed to having her first "crush" as we giggled together on the subway.


• Have treats! Intermission should be all about the chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and the Pantages has a bar.


• Enjoy the crowd-watching. At the previous musical, Joanne Worley entertained us with her signature laugh and shook hands with all of us in nearby rows.


• Pick a kitty. I favored the white lady cat, who had a beautiful "coat." And when she slinked into the audience she pawed at my shoe. We connected. She was a brilliant dancer, and I watched her reactions onstage and how deeply she stayed in character throughout the show. This method also worked for me during Riverdance. Just find a favorite and follow them.

Do that, and your child might look like this by nights' end:



Totally worth it, right?

Tickets for CATS, which runs through March 21, are $25-$78 (children under 5 are not admitted, so hold off on their Broadway education till they're old enough to appreciate the power of "Memory").

Oh, and please leave a comment below if you can tell me what CATS is about and how to better appreciate the performances.